When all is said and done and there you are sitting, in your new life after divorce, it seems that all of a sudden there is so much to do and none of it is getting done. It may seem overwhelming. As you step into (what you are working to make) your dream life after divorce, you need to find time to fit the new you and your new life in. In order to get time for yourself, you need to focus on your organizational skills. It is critically important that, even in the midst of what feels like chaos, you make sure to find time for yourself.
Take a look around your house and check out everything that needs to be done. You’re probably tired of hearing me say this, but it is time for that list again. I think lists help. I started with a spiral notebook that I kept with me to jot things down whenever they would hit my mind. That way everything I needed to know was all in one place. When I finished something, I could mark it off; scratch it out. (I still love seeing all those items marked off my lists!) Every time I felt overwhelmed I could look back and see everything that I had already done. It helped me to feel more accomplished and ready to take on even more.
Getting things in order for bills might be easy for some people, but if you’ve lost that extra paycheck from your spouse, it sure can make the budget tight. You could use your calendar to schedule your usual bills, so that you see when they are due and also see what else is coming up that you might need money for – kept all in one convenient place. Money is always a tough one; it causes enough stress in a marriage, and now you’re left to handle that load all by yourself. Take a deep breath and relax, you’ll get the swing of it. …..I can relate to this issue all too well: I was certain that I would never get the hang of the financial ‘thing’, but finally I did. You will too – I promise.
Not having anyone around to talk to or vent about your day can be hard too. You might try using internet social networks to talk to friends you’ve acquired there, and vent that way. Talking to yourself in car may make you look a little crazy, but talking things through, whether to a real person or not, can actually help you work things out. Take some time to separate work from home. It will help relieve a lot of stress in the long run.
Don’t forget that after you work on all this stuff, you still need to find time for you. Try to find at least 15 minutes a day to close your eyes, relax, listen to music, soak in the bath or do something that relieves stress for you. This is one thing most women have a hard time with. Women often feel that everyone else is more important. We are born into a culture of ‘fixers’, so when someone has a problem, we react like it’s up to us to make sure it gets taken care of – except when it comes to our own needs, that is. This modus operandi can lead to even more stress because none of your own needs are being met. Realize that you need to take care of you, or no one will be there to take care of other stuff. Try to take those 15 minute periods, just so that you can breathe. You need to do that.
 This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club.
“It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” |
