Life after divorce can be so emotionally overwhelming, it naturally leaves us thinking only of the singularity of the event. It is hard for us to put this debilitating phenomenon into any kind of perspective.
I ask you to try and take into consideration the fact that you are not alone. Divorce is everywhere. Divorce takes place in all cultures. The article below was written by Zainol Abideen, a Muslim, Malaysian author and president of the Muslim Bloggers Alliance. I think this article is an interesting one – not because I wish you to seek solace in the notion that ‘misery loves company’, but because the article speaks to the universality of divorce and how to handle it.
Is there life after divorce? Depends…
A subject that not many would want to dwell upon but which is a sad reality affecting many all around the world.
In today’s materialistic world, many couples live a strained life, devoid of true love and compassion. As a result, domestic squabbles, and even violence, takes place almost daily in the lives of couples who got married, not really due to love,but to circumstances: a marriage of convenience, a marriage born out of pity, a marriage due to forced pregnancies, a marriage that is arranged, a marriage to strengthen family or business ties.
When we speak about divorce, many suffering spouses fear to cross that line because they have become so dependent on their beaus – to such a stage that they can’t imagine living life all alone.
Some spouses abuse their partners so much that they resort to physical abuse. Some drive their partners nuts to such an extent that the suffering victims border on the verge of a mental breakdown. I myself lived through such a marriage and I confess to almost losing my mind due to the tremendous pressure and mental agony that only those who are in similar situations can imagine.
In our Asian society, suffering couples often put up a show that all’s well, when in reality raging tempests drive them nuts within the walls of their homes. Sometimes I come across cyber friends and contacts who confess to me of the abuse that they are going through at the hands of their husbands or even wives.
When I divorced, I surrendered whatever little property I had and started a new life from scratch. I started my new life with just a given shirt on my back. I am blessed to have met my match in my wife now, who has been a pillar of support, love and care beyond words.
The question arises: Is there life after divorce?
The answer: Depends. Whether you have it in you to re-establish your life once again. Learn not to repeat the same mistakes and avoid falling into the same old traps and quagmires out there.
We can’t change yesterday, but we can make a change tomorrow. Get real and decide as to whether you want to suffer for the rest of your life or start life anew.
 This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club.
“It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” |
