There is no possible way to be prepared for a divorce. You are dealing with human emotion, which is uncontrollable at times. The best way to handle it is to look at what you’re facing, head-on. All of these possibilities can be overwhelming, I know. The insurmountable paperwork alone can be astounding, let alone adding the emotional stress of the loss of the marriage. It’s important to train yourself to prepare for each obstacle you may need to plow into. Here are a few more simple tips to help you get all of this under control.
1. Lists- I know I’ve said this many times before, but I can’t help but restate it, ‘You need to make lists’. Lists help you to get things out of your head, so you can focus on your day-to-day without so much distraction. When you’re facing any loss, lists can help you. Your brain is busy with a ton of items and processes during the day. When you hit these stumbling blocks in your life it truly seems to hit its limits. Dumping the extra information, or things you can take care of later, will definitely help you maintain some sanity. You can always go back and check them off as you finish the item. And you’ll see how rewarding it is to see how much you’ve actually accomplished.
2. Files and Notebooks-Keep all your paperwork separated. Place each topic in a different file or notebook so that you can easily keep track of the information you need. Keeping it organized and easy to find will help you feel less overwhelmed.
3. Take a break. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, lost or confused about what you’re facing, walk away – even if it’s for just a few moments. Take that breather to relax and realize you’re not the only one going through this. You’re not the only one that has felt this way about their divorce. Being able to make it through all this in one piece is the most important factor here, and overwhelming yourself will only make you feel like it will never end. Eventually, it does; eventually all things end. Breath; step away occasionally, and you will find that when you need to deal with an issue you will be able to focus more easily.
4. Deal with today. Of course, you need to think about what you want in the long run, but if you face each issue as it arises and take on one battle at time, you will find everything easier to handle. I think of a popular axiom, “Live for today, because by the time you get to tomorrow it’s already today again!” Keep this in mind when you are battling emotional overload – one day at a time, one step at a time.
Hopefully no matter where you are in the process of building your new life after divorce, these simple steps will help you get through it with all your hair still attached to your head. I hope they help you weather the storms.
 This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club.
“It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” |
