An important part of recovering from your divorce is to control negative thinking. In my recent post, Get out from under negative thinking, I wrote:
Negative thoughts are an automatic response to certain situations. Unfortunately, they are hurtful to your overall well-being. The good news, though, is that you can [intentionally] replace those damaging ideas with more positive, albeit uplifting, ones.
Here’s an interesting way to think about thoughts and thinking:
Words have power only because we give them power. Think of the varieties of language. Some words are considered ‘high-brow’, others are slang, and still others are considered to have come from the gutter.
But words are just a combination of letters that create specific sounds when placed next to each other, and given the meaning we assign to the result. — Otherwise, words are just a jumble of symbols, no more meaningful than grains of sand on the beach.
Consider that thoughts are made up of words that we have given meaning.
Our minds are literally flooded with thoughts. However, our minds sometimes wander. This ‘detachment’ from clear thinking commonly occurs during the practice of meditation. In fact, the philosophy of meditation focuses on the idea that your mind is going to wander. Pictures and ideas and words and distractions are going to enter your mind – even if you try to clear your mind and think of nothing. Meditation gurus teach that this is normal.
But, what if your mind becomes inundated with negative thoughts – as often happens when we think about our lives after divorce? Meditation philosophy teaches, “Observe what is coming across your mind’s radar, and then let it go.” They say, “Just observe the words that make up the negative thoughts, giving no reaction – other than effortlessly letting them go.”
Thoughts can only have true meaning if you specifically attach one to them. It’s the definition we assign our thoughts that give them power. If we focus on negative thoughts and give them the power of being some sort of sacred truth, then that’s what we’ll believe. So, try assigning no meaning. …….Now where’s the power in those negative words?
You may sometimes feel there is a tag-team going on in your head: one is listening while the other is talking away. You can start managing your negative thoughts by practicing Detachment. That is, if the ‘talker’ in your head doesn’t contribute anything positive to the ‘conversation’, the ‘listener’ can hear the words, but let them fade away – without vesting so much meaning and value in them.
Over the next week, do try to practice detachment from negative thinking. Observe your inner talk, and when negative thoughts spring up, hear them – and then, without effort, release them. I know that it won’t be easy, but soon, you will begin to feel like you are gaining some control over them. Your goal? Move out from under that dark cloud once and for all!
| Judy Smith is a life coach whose 3-step program enables a divorced woman to create a fulfilling new life – in months, not years. Visit her website to find out more: www.Judysmithdivorcecoachcom Judy says; “Let’s outline your own strategy for moving ahead. For a complimentary 20-minute telephone session, send me an e-mail and tell me the best days/times for you to talk: Judy@judysmithdivorcecoach.com I do look forward to speaking with you! |
