One of the best pieces of divorce recovery advice out there is to get out from under negative thinking.
Negative thinking will slow – and may even prevent you from recovering from your divorce.
I’m not going to tell you that having negative thoughts is abnormal. We all have them. But know that habitual negative thoughts will color your view of life—literally draining you of ability to get enjoyment from it.
These negative thoughts are an automatic response to certain situations. Unfortunately, they are hurtful to your overall well-being. The good news, though, is that you can [intentionally] replace those damaging ideas with more positive, albeit uplifting, ones. You will be amazed to find, that it is indeed possible to get rid of many of your negative thoughts and, as a result, experience a better mood and an improved outlook – allowing you to live your life the way you were meant to: with joy in your heart!
The first step in controlling unconscious negative thoughts is by working on a plan to become consciously aware of them.
Your negative thoughts are based on your own individual history of life experiences. What you want to look at is the structure supporting these types of thoughts.
1. Identify
Ok, what sets you off? Think of specific cases and situations that tend to get under your skin and kick off a wave of negativity. Here are some examples:
- “What an idiot.” –in response to breaking something.
- “I have the worst luck with men.” –for those relationships that end.
- “I have no control over what I eat.” –after a failed attempt at dieting.
Some of your negative thoughts have engrained themselves in your mind so deeply that it will take time to recognize them. Many of them likely came along with you from childhood! Don’t expect to discover them all in a few hours. Track your thoughts for [at least] a week (Note: It may well take longer); write them down in your journal. Be sure to identify the specific situations that make you revert to this type of negative self-talk.
2. Manage
Once you have uncovered the situations that trigger your negative thoughts, you can begin to manage their occurrence. Elimination is probably an unrealistic goal; however, awareness will help stop them before they dig an even deeper hole of negativity for you to fall into. You’ll learn to observe those automatic thoughts the way you would a group of unruly children: let them do their thing—but stop them before they become hurtful.
| Judy Smith is a life coach whose 3-step program enables a divorced woman to create a fulfilling new life – in months, not years. Visit her website to find out more: www.Judysmithdivorcecoachcom Judy says; “Let’s outline your own strategy for moving ahead. For a complimentary 20-minute telephone session, send me an e-mail and tell me the best days/times for you to talk: Judy@judysmithdivorcecoach.com I do look forward to speaking with you! |
