One of the most essential parts of divorce recovery is to overcome negative thinking. Because the entire divorce process is, by nature, incredibly negative – many people – especially women – find themselves struggling to overcome negative thinking as they struggle to recover from their divorce.
Overcoming negative thinking is such an important part of the divorce recovery process, I’ve been writing about several ways to overcome negative thinking as part of your recovery from divorce.
Like smoking, overcoming negative thinking is a hard habit to break. That’s why I’ll offer yet anothermore divorce recovery strategy to overcome negative thinking: play devil’s advocate, so to speak.
Divorce Recovery Strategy: Playing Devil’s Advocate
The next time your negative thoughts pop up, go after them. Put them up on the witness stand and grill yourself until you are satisfied that this line of thinking simply does not tell the truth.
Like one client, a recurring thought of yours might be, “I can’t do anything right.” You can, in effect, ‘challenge’ that idea.
Pick an accomplishment and, for example, say: “Exactly what proof do you have that I can’t do anything right? I paid all my bills this month. Isn’t that a good example of doing something right? ……..And I have plenty more where that came from!”
When you say something to yourself that is an ‘all-or-nothing type statement like that, ask yourself to be more specific.
Instead of “I can’t do anything right,” catch yourself and make it more specific instead. You could rephrase it as, “I don’t have the necessary skills to fix this (name of problem).” Negative thoughts are nothing more than ruts that our brains get stuck in.
Give yourself a hand with these strategies to help your brain pull itself out and move onto a better path.
Putting your mind to it will also get you out from under those dark clouds. Think how much better you’ll feel then!
This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club. “It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” |
