Divorce is a negative process – so it’s a given that an essential part of divorce recovery is to learn to deal with negativity.
After all, an important part of divorce recovery is to get beyond the negative thinking and get on with your life.
Divorce Recovery Advice: Get Firm with Negative Thinking
SInce your divorce, you may have recurring negative thoughts. Maybe you’re afraid that these thoughts may never go away. Since your divorce, you feel anxious that you’ll never be able to get a grip on these negative thougths and send them packing.
In Divorce Recovery Advice: A Technique to Control Negative Thinking, I shared a strategy to deal with negative thinking called “observe and release” strategy. Perhaps as you’ve practiced this divorce recovery strategy, you’ve noticed that some of your negative thoughts may start to resemble a hard-to-shake misery-monger that has taken up permanent residence inside your head. You’ve observed those negative thoughts, all right, and you’re wondering when they’ll just go.
Here’s another divorce recovery strategy that’s easy and portable.
This divorce recovery strategy uses something you can easily slip into your purse or place on your dining or coffee table: an index card. On it you write one word—STOP. When the negative thought comes trudging across your mind, pick up the card and look at that one simple word for a minute. What this simple act does is distract you long enough to send that negative thought on its way and allows you to think about something else.
Also, this divorce recovery strategy shows you that you are more than capable of taking action, and that you can control some of what’s going on in your head. You reach for the card, see your firm request to stop the negative thought, and with deliberation move your thoughts to something else.
Before you know it, you won’t require the card, because this strategy will become an automatic process. Your mind will be trained to watch for those types of thoughts and to stop them from carrying on in your head.
 This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club.
“It’s never too late to live happily ever after.” |
