Recovering from divorce is very similar to grieving the loss of a loved one. Ask anyone who has lost a loved one and they will tell you that the “first” holiday, anniversary, or birthday after the loss is always a time of sadness. This is probably because these milestone events are often a time when we look at the past and reflect on the changes that have happened since the last holiday.
Divorce Recovery Holiday Edition Tip #1: Choose which Memories to Cherish
Part of the celebration of holidays and anniversaries is looking back and reminiscing about the past. It’s up to choose how you view holidays and anniversaries of the past.
Chances are, the last holiday with your ex was filled with stress and tension. If the holidays weren’t filled with stress and tension, it was only because what ever was bubbling underneath the surface had yet to surface. Perhaps your spouse was already plotting his/her exit from the marriage – but smiled and played hte role of faithful spouse. Perhaps it was all coming unraveled then and you knew it.
but it’s possible that you won’t be remembering THAT holiday. Instead, your mind will wander back to better days, when your relationship was good and the future was bright.
It’s YOUR choice!!! You choose which memories to replay as you celebrate the holidays!
Divorce Recovery Holiday Edition Tip #2: Starting New Traditions
Instead of looking back, maybe this is the year you begin celebrating the holidays with new traditions. Your “clean slate” means you now have permission to discard the holiday traditions that either never worked for you or are too painful to continue.
Maybe this is the year you decide to join your friends in a cabin in the mountains? Maybe this is the year you volunteer in a holiday outreach program?
Make this is the year you create a new cherished tradition as part of your divorce recovery process.
