1. Don’t assume your date is exclusive with you.  If you’ve never talked about it, you probably should.

2. Don’t be afraid of silence.  Occasional silences allow a conversation to feel natural and unforced.

3. Don’t make sex the objective. Good reasons for going slowly into sexual activity include:

•    reducing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases;
•    avoiding the awkwardness of intimacy with a total stranger;
•    having sex to look forward to.

If and when sex is right, it will happen – there’s no advantage in rushing.

4. Don’t date beyond your budget.

It doesn’t impress your date if, in the long run, you have to make an embarrassing confession. A wide
disparity in income calls for frank discussion early on. If your date spends a lot on you, reciprocating
with a home-cooked meal, a hand-made gift, or assistance with a task needing to be taken care of will
even the tally.

5. Don’t get too self-conscious.

The media focus on youth and fitness these days can make anyone feel insecure and unattractive.
Look your best, and then forget about it. Instead of worrying what your date thinks of you, focus
on what you think of your date.

For more good tips, delivered to you directly, sign up for my newsletter: www.judysmithdivorcecoach.com.  When you subscribe you will also be entitled to a free copy of my Special Report – that describes different strategies for divorce recovery and how several clients applied them in their own situations.

Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club. “It’s never too late to live happily ever after.”

Take a look around your house and check out everything that needs to be done. You’re probably tired of hearing me say this, but it is time for that list again. I think lists help. I started with a spiral notebook that I kept with me to jot things down whenever they would hit my mind. That way everything I needed to know was all in one place. When I finished something, I could mark it off; scratch it out. (I still love seeing all those items marked off my lists!) Every time I felt overwhelmed I could look back and see everything that I had already done. It helped me to feel more accomplished and ready to take on even more.

Getting things in order for bills might be easy for some people, but if you’ve lost that extra paycheck from your spouse, it sure can make the budget tight. You could use your calendar to schedule your usual bills, so that you see when they are due and also see what else is coming up that you might need money for – kept all in one convenient place. Money is always a tough one; it causes enough stress in a marriage, and now you’re left to handle that load all by yourself. Take a deep breath and relax, you’ll get the swing of it.  …..I can relate to this issue all too well:  I was certain that I would never get the hang of the financial ‘thing’, but finally I did.  You will too – I promise.

Not having anyone around to talk to or vent about your day can be hard too.  You might try using internet social networks to talk to friends you’ve acquired there, and vent that way. Talking to yourself in car may make you look a little crazy, but talking things through, whether to a real person or not, can actually help you work things out. Take some time to separate work from home. It will help relieve a lot of stress in the long run.

Don’t forget that after you work on all this stuff, you still need to find time for you. Try to find at least 15 minutes a day to close your eyes, relax, listen to music, soak in the bath or do something that relieves stress for you. This is one thing most women have a hard time with. Women often feel that everyone else is more important. We are born into a culture of ‘fixers’, so when someone has a problem, we react like it’s up to us to make sure it gets taken care of – except when it comes to our own needs, that is. This modus operandi can lead to even more stress because none of your own needs are being met. Realize that you need to take care of you, or no one will be there to take care of other stuff. Try to take those 15 minute periods, just so that you can breathe. You need to do that.

This is a guest post by Judy Smith. Judy specializes in helping women create a new life after divorce. She uses experience and skills acquired over a lifetime to help divorced people transform their lives. Get the personalized help you need by joining her Divorce Coaching Club. “It’s never too late to live happily ever after.”